Art Guerillas in the Mist

Picture the scene; an expensive space devoid of viewers for a few pieces of French art designed to take huge sums of local art funding out of the area for the benefit of anyone but local artists. Ironically the show is entitled "Unite" although that brave cry isn't extended locally, with most alienated from funding rather than united with it.

Suddenly from nowhere there's two musicians filling the space with sound, and a reporter and photographer from the Gazunder watching them. The trumpet player plays an ode to lost opportunities.

The guitarist takes the spotlit but otherwise empty stage. He's clearly breaking all the rules in becoming the first local artist to perform in this space.

He wanders around playing as one of the staff makes a hurried call to management, while the other puts out a priority call on the "shop safe" radio system. Priority calls are meant to be reserved for robberies, assaults or other serious crimes. For some reason musicians playing in a Turner Contemporary venue is rated as criminal, interesting when most locals consider how the millions wasted by the Turner Centre as a greater crime by far.

Ejected onto the street and greeted by the Community Wardens who seem bemused by the whole thing. Although one of them is convinced that for me to take photographs on the public highway is an offence. Despite having been warned I continue to exercise my rights as a free man although apparently this is a serious breach of "Human Rights" and this point is stressed aggressively.

Having surpressed her apoplexy the management find time to talk to a journalist from the Gazette. The reporter was far from impressed with being told her photographer was also breaking the law, and being versed in the legal liabilities of journalism wasn't having any of it.
It did beg the question "What are they trying to hide?".

Finally Turner Centre management face those dastardly criminals, internationally reknowned musicians Mark Hewins and Jim Dvorjack protesting at the one-way flow of arts funding out of the area and the lack of inclusion for local artists.
This gentle protest revealled more than local disaffection, it showed just how much the Turner loathes locals, local talent or anything that might question the construction of their highly profitable, for them, ivory tower.